You are worthy of love—most importantly, your own love. Get inspired with these self-love quotes and start your journey to self-acceptance.
Why self-love is important
Love is a basic human need and thatneed for love is so powerful that it can even override other basic needs such as food and shelter, says Kristin Orlowski, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist with UCHealth Family Medicine in Littleton, Colorado.
Many people think that the only way to meet that incredibly deep need is through the love of—or from—others.
But while having a loving support group, including a loving partner, is wonderful, the foundation of meeting your love needs is learning to love yourself first, says Orlowski, who is also president-elect of the Colorado Psychological Association.
“Healthy self-love leads to resilience and growth and helps you weather the storms of life,” she says. If you don’t love yourself then you’re not likely to take care of yourself, putting you at a higher risk for problems such as addiction, poor physical health, and depression or other mental illnesses, she says. (Sound familiar? Try these ways to remind yourself you’re worthy.)
Self-love in and out of a relationship
Not loving yourself can also cause a lot of challenges in relationships. Poor self-esteem may prevent you from putting yourself out into the dating world where you can find a relationship or cause you to settle for less than you deserve, Orlowski says.
Lacking self-love can also lead to codependency or unhealthy, toxic relationships, she adds.
Basing your self-worth on the approval of a current or future partner is a recipe for heartache. If you can’t find a loving partner or if your partner leaves you, your self-esteem will nosedive and you can become trapped in a cycle of bad breakups, toxic relationships, and self-hate.
“Learning to value yourself is one of the most important things you can do to have more stable, healthy relationships with yourself and others,” she says.
How to learn to love yourself
Knowing you need to love yourself is one thing, but actually practicing self-love can be quite difficult—especially if you grew up with a lot of criticism or have experienced toxic relationships, Orlowski says. However, there are things you can do right now to practice self-love and increase your sense of self-worth. (Start with these things that are instant self-confidence boosters.)
Challenge your thoughts
Negative self-esteem can stem from negative thoughts. Stop yourself as soon as you think of something self-critical and challenge it, she says. Then replace it with a kinder, healthier thought. Do this enough times and it can help short-circuit negative thought patterns. (Here’s how rumination is linked to anxiety and depression.)
Surround yourself with love
If you are having a particularly hard time finding things to love about yourself, start by asking people you trust what they treasure about you and build from there. On the flip side, cut ties or reduce contact with people who are very critical of you or negative. Having positive, loving support can help you love yourself, she says.
Practice self-care
Self-care is a form of self-love and it’s important to find time every day to do something nice for yourself, Orlowski says. Build a self-care plan that includes important activities like relaxing with a book, taking a scenic hike, or cooking your favorite meal. Recognize that your needs and wants are just as important as those of the people around you. Start with these the ways to be nicer to yourself.
Take up a hobby
Whether it’s learning something new or relearning an old skill, having a hobby increases your ability to love yourself, she says. Hobbies give you an opportunity to learn, grow, and feel successful—all key components to a healthy sense of self.
Learn to be okay on your own
Many people feel like unless someone else is loving them, they are not worthy of love. This couldn’t be further from the truth, Orlowski says. Learning to enjoy your own company is an important skill that can help you see yourself in a forgiving, more loving way.
Get inspired with self-love quotes
Learning from others how they practice self-love can inspire you in your own journey—single or partnered. Here are some self-love quotes to get you started.
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Do your own thing
“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people—the ones who really belong in your life—will come to you. And stay.” — Will Smith, actor
One of the hardest things in life is letting go of people you love who don’t treat you well. (Make sure you know the signs of a toxic relationship.) Learn to love yourself and you’ll attract others who love you, for you.
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Forgive yourself
“In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.” — Andrea Dykstra, author
Self-love starts with forgiving yourself for past mistakes and allowing yourself grace to make mistakes in the future—you are human, after all. Here are steps for the best way to forgive.
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You. Are. Amazing.
“No one else is you and that is your superpower.” — Unknown
The world would be a boring place if everyone were the same. That’s why it’s silly to prioritize conformity. Be yourself and be proud of who you are. (Here are the powerful benefits of being kind to yourself.
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Live for today
“To love yourself right now, justas you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.” — Alan Cohen, author of inspirational books
It’s easy to think that you’ll love yourself once you get that promotion or lose 20 pounds. But that type of magical thinking just moves the goalposts. Accepting yourself now—flaws and all—is the key to recognizing your self-worth. Feeling insecure about your body? Use these body confidence tricks from models.
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Give love
“The more you give to yourself, the more love you have to give to others, and the more value you can add to the world.” — Unknown
There’s a reason why flight attendants tell you toput on your own oxygen mask before helping others, in the event of an emergency. It’s the same with love: You can’t give what you don’t have. (Look for these signs that you’re not taking care of yourself.)
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It’s you
“If you’re searching for that one person who will change your life, look in the mirror.” — Unknown
It’s both an exciting and scary moment when you realize that you are your own superhero. You are the one with the power to rescue yourself and that starts with loving yourself.
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Fall in love with yourself
“I don’t like myself—I’m crazy about myself!” — Mae West, actress
What do you love about yourself? Sit down, take a few minutes to make a list. Write it down so you can read it when you’re feeling low. (Here’s how to carve out more “me time.”)
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We accept the love we think we deserve
“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” — Robert Holden, PhD, psychologist and author
As the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. Conversely, loving people love people. Learning to care for yourself will help you in all of your relationships. (Make sure you’re not believing any of these myths about happy relationships.)
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Keep your own company
“Love yourself first, because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.” — Unknown
Self-love and confidence is a skill that often increases with age. The older you get, the easier it is to keep everything in perspective. (This is the age when the average person is most confident.)
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Give yourself the grace you give to others
“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” — Louise Hay, motivational author
Most of us are our own worst enemies. But negative self-talk can become a self-fulfilling (and defeating) prophecy. Here are the ways to stop being hard on yourself.
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Do the work
“The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself.” — Sahaj Kohli, writer
Self-love doesn’t come naturally to many people; it takes time and work. Be patient and you’ll see improvement. (Use these ways to remind yourself you’re worthy.)
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Self-defense is self-love
“Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.” — George R.R. Martin, author of A Game of Thrones
Hiding your weaknesses only allows them to grow. Turn your weaknesses into strengths by learning to love yourself—warts and all. It’s doable with these tips for how to be happy today.
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Boundaries are a form of love
“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it.” — Anna Taylor, writer
People pleasers prioritize other people’s needs and concerns over their own, often to their own detriment. But taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re being selfish. In fact, it can give you more energy to help those you love. (Here’s how to set boundaries to protect yourself.)
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Put yourself first
“Before you find your soul mate, you must first discover your soul.” — Charles F. Glassman, MD, author ofBrain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life
Be the kind of person you’d want to date and you’ll be more likely to attract the partner you want and deserve. (Here are self-care quotes to help you care for your mind and body.)
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Grow together
“The best relationships inspire you to become your best self without changing you into someone else.” — Karen Salmansohn, self-help author
Don’t change for someone, change with them. A good marriage isn’t a mind-meld into one person. Happy couples learn how to bring out the best in each other, working together as two happy, healthy individuals. (Here’s how to have a happy marriage and feel loved.)
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Self-respect is powerful
“Loving yourself starts with liking yourself, which starts with respecting yourself, which starts with thinking of yourself in positive ways.” — Jerry Corstens, author
Positive thinking is the antidote for poor self-esteem. It doesn’t have to be hard. Simply repeating a positive phrase can have immediate and lasting benefits. Come up with your own or use one of these simple mantras to have a brighter day.
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No one is perfect and that’s okay
“I’m far from perfect, but I’m perfect for that imperfect person who’s perfect for me.” ― Amanda Bynes, actress
Perfectionism is a surefire way to torpedo your self-esteem because no one can live up to that standard. Not sure if that’s your issue? Check out these perfectionist signs—and how to stop being so hard on yourself.
