It's amazing how many people call me up just before Christmas to tell me they have decided to do the whole caboodle at the eleventh hour. Someone even emailed me once, on Christmas Eve, saying: "Help – I just bought a goose and I've got 10 people coming!"
If you are going to busk it, the golden rule is to produce a truly maverick dinner that doesn't apologise for being quicker and easier than your mother's Christmas feasts. If you try to cut corners it will look (or worse still, taste) like it. Go for something completely different instead.
ANGLICISED GRAVADLAX, WITH SALMON OR SEA TROUT
The idea of adding mustard powder to gravadlax comes from chef Richard Corrigan, of Corrigan's in Mayfair. You can freeze cured salmon and sea trout once it has been treated this way, so don't worry if a whole side seems like a lot.
SERVES 4-6
A side of sea trout or salmon. Ask the fishmonger to pin-bone and scale it
3 level tbs sea salt
1 level tbs sugar
1 tbs fresh dill
1 tbs fresh parsley
1 level tsp English mustard powder
Run your forefinger over the fillet to check for any bones that got away from the fishmonger. You'll feel them easily enough. Remove them with tweezers or nail scissors.
Combine the salt and sugar in a small bowl.
Wash and pat dry the fish before laying it in a tray skin-side down. Rub the salt and sugar mix all over the fish. Wrap it in clingfilm, weigh it down lightly (two plates on top of each other is fine) and refrigerate for about 24 hours.
Next day drain away any liquid, then wash and dry the fillet again. Chop the dill and parsley very finely and combine them with the mustard powder. Press the herb mix onto the cured salmon flesh (not the skin side). You can now keep the fish in the fridge for three or four days before using it. It is also best to freeze it at this point if you plan to do that.
To serve cured salmon or trout, this is the best way to portion it: slice the fish as thinly as possible, in straight cross-sections, stopping just shy of the skin. Work from the tail end towards the top of the fillet where the head was. The dish is best served with a dollop of sour cream and/or wedges of lemon.
ROAST FORE RIB OF BEEF, YORKSHIRE PUDDING AND BOOZY PRUNES
To get spectacular results from this simplest of roasts, buy the best beef you can. It should be well aged; hung for about 4 weeks if possible. Hereford beef has good marbling and a great flavour. Rib of beef is not cheap, but you can buy joints for as few as two people. Roughly speaking, 1 kilo of rib on the bone will easily feed two (and might leave you with some to have cold on Boxing Day). Ask the butcher to take off the chine bone for you. Some butchers call this a French trim.
Keep the chine bone if you want to make a great stock for gravy. If you do this, roast the chine bone on its own, and once it is deeply browned pop it into a small pot, just covered with cold water. Add a carrot and an onion, plus a bay leaf if there is one handy. Simmer but don't boil the stock for at least 2 or 3 hours. Remove any scum and fat that comes to the surface during this time. After that you could strain and reduce it by about half, which will give you the base for gravy the next day.
SERVES 4-6
For the Yorkshire pudding: 4 eggs
300ml milk
½ tsp salt
250g plain flour
dripping or duck fat (or a mild vegetable oil if you have to)
For the meat: 1 chined rib of beef
soft duck fat or dripping (or a mild vegetable oil if you have to)
salt and freshly ground black pepper
an oven-proof frying pan large enough for the joint
baking parchment
Start the Yorkshire pudding mix first. The method, which is Nigella Lawson's, is a bit topsy-turvy but it really works. Beat the eggs, milk and salt with a food processor or electric whisk for about 5 minutes. Now leave this mix at room temperature while you prepare the roast and everything else (spuds, veg etc).
Preheat your oven to 220°C/Gas 7. Rub the meat all over with 1 tbs of the fat and season it generously with salt and pepper. Heat another tablespoon of fat in the pan over a fairly brisk flame. When the fat is very hot, add the meat, starting with the fatty flank, ie the back of the joint, so that the rib bones are facing up. Lower the heat underneath the pan just slightly and brown the flank until it is a deep golden colour (it could take up to 5 minutes). Now raise the heat again, turn the rib onto one of the cut sides and brown this side hard for a couple of minutes. It will look a bit like a good steak when it is ready to turn. Repeat the process on the other side and then return the meat to the flank side and transfer it to the oven.
If you want the meat rare, then give it just 12 minutes per kilo. If you prefer it medium to well done, give it roughly 20 minutes. But however long you cook it, it is vital that you rest the meat for 20-30 minutes afterwards. It won't go cold, but it will tenderise greatly. Take it from the oven and transfer it to a cooling rack over a roasting tray or serving dish in a warm but not hot place. Wrap the meat loosely in the parchment.
While you rest the beef you can attack the pudding. Turn the oven up to its highest setting. Heat an oven-proof baking dish with a tablespoon of the fat. Let it get really hot. Meanwhile whisk the flour into the egg and milk mixture. Pour the batter into the very hot baking dish and cook it for about 20 minutes, getting everything else to the table during this time. The pudding can be the last thing you take to the table.
BOOZY PRUNES
Try to get hold of Agen prunes from France for this. These are fatter and somehow plummier than other varieties. The pickle is ready to use almost as soon as the mix has cooled. The amounts here will be more than you need, but the prunes keep happily in the fridge in a plastic container.
SERVES 4-6
500g prunes, either dried or ready to eat
500ml boiling water
1 tea bag (use breakfast tea – don't go for anything too aromatic)
25g caster sugar
100ml brandy
Stone the prunes and pop them into your chosen container.
Boil the water, pour into a measuring jug and add the tea bags plus the sugar. Basically you are making an oversized, overstewed, oversweetened cup of tea here. Let it steep for 10 minutes then remove the tea bag. Don't forget to do this! A tea bag in among a batch of boozy prunes is a well-camouflaged booby trap.
Pour the tea over the prunes and let the mix go cold. This doesn't take long, but if you can, leaving the prunes to go cold in the tea overnight is ideal.
Once they are cold, douse the prunes in the brandy. Mix the brandy through the now-syrupy juices around the prunes. Do this carefully to avoid smashing the fruit. Your prunes are now boozy and ready to eat.
TWO ALTERNATIVE SIDE DISHES FOR SPROUT HATERS
I have to say that I'm not a sprout hater by any means, but I've always thought it a bit of a shame that so many people assume it must be "sprouts or bust" when it comes to Christmas Day. There are so many other wonderful greens in season. If you hate sprouts it is probably because of their bitter, mustardy taste. This is most pronounced if they are served just cooked, which is why so many people still boil the life out of them. That mustardy flavour is integral to all members of the cabbage family, but in varying degrees of intensity. Broccoli and kale are much milder than cabbage and cauliflower, for example. Slow-cooking all brassica sweetens them up considerably, and this first recipe will work with kale, cabbage, those infamous sprouts or spring greens.
SAVOY CABBAGE, CHESTNUTS AND BACON
This is a great favourite of chefs, especially for serving with game birds such as pheasant. For the work-shy it presents many aspects of the Christmas dinner trimmings in one neat and easy package – the cabbage, the smoky bacon and the stuffiness (you know what I mean) of chestnuts.
SERVES 4 -6
2 tbs olive oil for cooking
2 rashers dry-cured, smoked streaky bacon, cut into small lardons
4 shallots, diced as finely as possible
2 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped as finely as possible
1 stick celery, diced as finely as possible
2 carrots, diced as finely as possible
1 small savoy or round cabbage cored and shredded
120ml (small glass) white wine
2 tbs brandy
1 tbs tomato purée
100ml water or stock (you could use some of your beef bone stock if you made one)
100g peeled, cooked chestnuts
Heat the oil in a casserole or large pot with a lid. Add the bacon, fry it briskly and remove it with a slotted spoon. Add the shallots, garlic, celery and carrots to the bacony fat in the pot, and fry them quite briskly, allowing them to caramelise slightly. Fold in the cabbage. Return the bacon to the fold. Add the wine, brandy, tomato purée, water or stock, and stir in the chestnuts. Cover the pot tightly with a lid or tin foil and cook for about half an hour on a gentle simmer. You can rest this dish off the heat for up to half an hour more before serving, and it is good made a day ahead for reheating.
BRUSSELS TOPS
If you hate sprouts, you might like their sibling vegetable, the increasingly trendy "tops". Brussels sprouts are like miniature cabbages growing off a central stalk or vine. At the top of the vine the leaves grow up and out. This "top" looks like a loose-leafed cabbage or spring green, with a lot more natural sweetness than the sprouts. A couple of heads will easily feed four to six as a side order.
Simply trim the lower woody-looking stems, shred the leaves and steam them for a couple of minutes. Toss them in plenty of melted butter with a good pinch of salt and pepper just before serving.
POACHED PEARS AND TOASTED SPICE BREAD
You could make as much or as little of this dessert as you like. Poach the pears, following the recipe or buy a jar (not a tin!) of them. You could make the spice bread, or buy it; gingerbread or a rich tea loaf would work well, too. The butterscotch sauce is optional and you could make or buy that, too.
SERVES 4-6
For the pears: 500ml water
250g caster sugar
125ml (a glass) dry white wine
1 vanilla pod
4 to 6 firm pears
For the bread: 300g self-raising flour
100g soft brown sugar
1 tbs ground mixed spice
¼ tsp salt
1 large egg
100ml milk
2 tbs runny honey
ice cream, preferably vanilla, to serve
To make the pears, heat the water and sugar together very gently until the sugar dissolves completely and you have clear syrup. Add the wine and the vanilla pod and simmer gently. Meanwhile peel the pears, leaving them whole. Add them to the syrup and poach them until tender (how long this takes depends on the firmness of the pears, but check them every 10 minutes or so to start with, then every 3 minutes once they feel close). Allow to cool in the syrup.
For the bread, preheat the oven to 180°C/Gas 4. Grease a 20.5cm (average size) loaf tin or terrine and line with some baking parchment.
Mix the flour, sugar, spice and salt in a bowl. Make a well in the middle and drop in the egg. Heat the milk until it is only just warm and stir in the honey until it dissolves. Pour the milk into the same well as the egg and beat with a wooden spoon until you have dense, sticky dough. Transfer this to the greased, lined tin. Bake the loaf for about 1½ hours. Test it with a skewer to see if it is ready after this time and allow it to cool completely before you turn it out of the tin.
To make the little toasts, cut the fully cooled loaf into slices as thinly as you can. Think pound-coin thick. Preheat the oven to 100°C/Gas ¼ and lay the slices out on a baking sheet. Cook them until they are dried out and crispy, without letting them darken (the sugars will caramelise and go very bitter). Serve the crispy slices with the pears, ice cream, and butterscotch sauce if you like.
BUTTERSCOTCH SAUCE
50g butter (salted is best for this)
100g golden caster sugar
150g golden syrup
a sliver of lemon zest, removed from the lemon with a vegetable peeler (optional)
½ tsp vanilla extract
100ml double cream
Melt the butter very gently in a saucepan, then add the sugar, golden syrup and lemon zest, if using. Cook really gently until everything has melted and the sugar has dissolved. Raise the heat slightly and simmer for 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the vanilla and cream. It will keep in the fridge for about a month; reheat gently to serve with the pears, ice cream and spiced bread. OFM
