100 Best Funny Captions for Instagram (With Witty Quotes!) (2024)

Welcome to the ultimate compilation of funny captions for Instagram snaps! Whether you’re capturing life’s absurdities, silly moments, or just your own goofy self, you’ll find the perfect text here to match the vibe. We’ve collated an amazing list of funny quotes for Instagram for you to choose from.

Instagram, with its visual allure, isn’t just about the picture – the caption beneath makes all the difference. Whether you’re showcasing a candid laugh, a quirky setting, or just your mood, the right words add that zesty flavor.

Dive in, chuckle away, and let your posts light up your followers’ feeds!

Funny Captions for Instagram

• Life’s a soup and I’m a fork.
• I’m not great at the advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
• Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.
• I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
• Life happens. Coffee helps.
• This is my ‘adulting is hard’ face.
• I’m funnier in real life.
• Look what the cat dragged in.
• You do you, I’ll do better.
• Judge me when you’re perfect.

• I love men without the n.
• Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I put my keys in the fridge.
• When nothing goes right, go left.
• Cherry on top.
• Are you a Minecraft fence? Cause I can’t get over you.
• Get on my level.
• I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge.
• So many filters, so little time.
• Weekend vibes… because every other vibe took a day off.
• I’m just here for the good vibes and snack.

You Might Also Like: Positive Captions for Instagram

• I would stop scrolling too.
• iCarly without the car.
• In case you needed a new wallpaper.
• I’d love to see me from my POV.
• Not slim, but shady.
• Did it for the gram!
• Live, love, laugh.
• Hello 911, I’m on fire.
• I do a thing called what I want.
• I was hungry so I ate.

• At the top of your Christmas list.
• More of me.
• If you’re reading this, you can read.
• Cooler than the other side of your pillow.
• If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me. I’ll do it for you.
• Slay them with sweetness.
• Limited edition.
• Me again.
• Clever as the devil and twice as pretty.
• You didn’t sneeze but I blessed your feed anyways.

Next: Happy Captions for Instagram

• I peaked in this pic, so it’s all downhill from here.
• No pen, no paper, but I still draw attention.
• Google maps said it was my turn.
• Not a waitress but still serving.
• If you were looking for a sign, here it is.
• This selfie has its own vocabulary.
• Incase you needed a new lock screen.
• Low quality pics, high quality pics.
• She’s *busy*.
• I don’t complain, I just wine.

• Screenshot, it’ll last longer.
• Turn that frown upside down. Or at least tilt your phone.
• Always an upgrade.
• My bed and I have a special relationship. We’re perfect for each other.
• Spreading smiles like they’re almond butter.
• Lost files.
• Not a painter but you get the picture.
• Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
• Can’t stand me. Take a stand.
• No Malone but just a post.

You Might Also Like: Confidence Captions for Instagram

• Attachment: issues.
• My mom said I look handsome.
• Catch you later?
• Blurry but you get the picture.
• Friday called. She’s on her way and she’s bringing wine.
• Drip too hard.
• Photo spam.
• My captions are like me: bad.
• Whiskey business.
• More than you can handle.
• If you’re going through something, just go around it.

Next: Dope Captions for Instagram

Funny Quotes for Instagram

• “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg
• “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
• “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” – Winston Churchill
• “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams
• “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” – George Carlin
• “My life needs editing.” – Mort Sahl
• “You’re only as good as your last haircut.” – Fran Lebowitz
• “Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” – Luis Bunuel
• “I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
• “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx

• “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
• “What’s another word for Thesaurus?” – Steven Wright
• “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” – Mark Twain
• “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” – Isaac Asimov
• “If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” – George Bernard Shaw
• “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
• “There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.” – Henry Kissinger
• Minding mine.
• Come find me.
• Rolling with the homies… and by homies, I mean pizza rolls.

You Might Also Like: Smile Captions for Instagram

• “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.” – Oscar Levant
• So drippy, the ants thought it was raining.
• Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
• Yoga class? I thought you said pour a glass!
• How’s the view.
• My vibe right now is just living life.
• You’re girlfriends/ boyfriends favorite account.
• You’re eyes only.
• For your 3am scenarios.
• I’m so egg-cited to share this!
• Like the alphabet, I come before you.

Next: Baddie Captions for Instagram